Happy Earth Day…you God Damn Commie.  Remember the very best thing you can do for the planet is kill yourself.

That was probably unfair I mean it’s not like you are celebrating Lenin’s birthday or anything…oh wait that’s exactly what you’re doing.

But hey it’s not like one of the dirty Socialist hippies who started the whole Earth Day thing, Ira Einhorn, murdered his girlfriend and left her rotting in a trunk in his closet.  Yup, that’s true too.  He also fled the country on bail (lived in Socialist France for 16 years)…guess who his defense lawyer was at the time, Senator Arlen Specter, another Pinko.

Earth Day activists often rail against nuclear power – but more people died in Einhorn’s apartment than due to the oft vilified Three-Mile Island.

These are facts about Earth Day.

But are they truths?

Little different…nearly everything in our modern society is politicized.  People can rail about keeping politics out of certain things, but honestly politics are at the root of so many events and celebrations that this is a hopeless wish.  Earth Day is just one of these things.  Is it a day for kids to draw pictures and learn about ecology, or a day of indoctrination – the honest answer is generally “both.”

In the interest of full disclosure I feel I should point out a few things.  I am a Libertarian.  What this means is I believe the government has no right to infringe on my freedoms, nor do I believe the government has a right to infringe on the freedoms of others – including a freedom to act a fool. I believe quite strongly in the Constitution and recognize it for what it is – the only protection individual liberties have from the United States Government.  The Constitution does not protect you from foreign agents, nor from corporations, nor from your neighbors, the Constitution protects you from the government.  So when say a Presidential candidate runs his campaign promising to remove some of these protections, be very clear that it is from him (and other representatives) that these protections exist.  This is NO different than a thief asking you to not lock your door.

The second thing is I did buy a Prius.  The Prius gets a hugely positive review from the environmental group and is lambasted by conservative elements.  Like most things its really neither – the gas mileage is good but little better than a comparably sized non-hybrid, and the power is considerably more than detractors would lead you to believe.  The cargo room – specifically the golden retriever cargo room – was quite nice.  In fact, the biggest negative I found is that the car attracted the attention of the dirty hippie crowd.

(Look in the mirror:  Are you Male?  If Yes continue.  Do you have a Grey Ponytail?  If Yes continue.  Congratulations!!!! You are looking at a douchebag.)

They would walk up and look at me as I took a fly rod from the car.

“It is so great to see someone who wants to save the planet.”  This was always spoken with a sing-songy voice that made me want to slam my nuts in the door.

“Ya whatever dude, just going fishing.”

“Fishing is evil man, why did you get the Hybrid?”

I would pause reflect and answer.  “Because I figure the less gas I burn, the more Arab children will starve to death.  Have a nice day!”

Note:  A lot of what I write is for humor or shock value – this exchange actually took place.  I personally have nothing against Arabs since I find Arab women to be exceptionally beautiful.

I am a bad man, crude and mean.  Yet this tale points to something I have never fully understood.  The belief that “environmentalists” are politically liberal, yet “sportsmen” are politically conservative – and thus philosophical enemies.  The goals of clean water, clean air, and the simple pragmatism of using what you need and reusing what you can – seem at least to me somewhat universal goals.

“Now observe that in all the propaganda of the ecologists–amidst all their appeals to nature and pleas for ‘harmony with nature’–there is no discussion of man’s needs and the requirements of his survival. Man is treated as if he were an unnatural phenomenon. Man cannot survive in the kind of state of nature that the ecologists envision–i.e., on the level of sea urchins or polar bears…”

Ayn Rand

There is but one universal goal in politics – win.

Personally, I like Earth Day.  I think it is good to have a time to consider the value of our planet and how we can do a better job preserving the natural places we love.  Studying ecology, how one event impacts another is a wonderful discipline.  Another lesson is responsibility, that what a person does has an impact on the world.  This is a powerful and empowering lesson, a shame that it is most often used to frighten children or foster guilt.  Finally, I  believe it would be an ideal time – not for the harsh negativity that so often follows the environmental movement but to consider the positive.

When I was a child Boston Harbor was a cesspool – literally!  You would never think of swimming there, eating the fish, or heaven forfend the shellfish.  Today, Boston Harbor is beautiful, a shining example of the Earth’s ability to heal and man’s ability to help that process through technology and thought.  The rivers in the western parts of Massachusetts were horribly polluted.  You could literally smell the toxins.  Today they are far less polluted, again a testament to the ability of running waters to become clean again.  Catch and release was mocked, and today it is widely accepted in fact I dare say the norm.  These changes did not take eons or even generations.  I’m referring merely to my own personal observations a mere 25 years or less – a fraction of a fraction of an eye-blink in geological terms.  Today, the world is a better place than it was when I started fishing. That is a wonderful thought – yet how often do you hear it?  Sure there is more to do, more that can be done, but the fact remains,  kids growing up today have better fishing available to them than kids growing up in the early 80’s did.  Hopefully this trend will continue.

Is fishing as good as earlier generations – no, but what other generation can claim to have made an honest and marked improvement over what it was handed?  Very few, that great fishing of years passed was enjoyed by a generation that handed off a diminished fishery.

I suspect this was the case since the beginning of the country, but that trend has stopped and like them or loathe them the environmental movement played a hand. Corporations – often seen as the enemy of the environment played a hand as well – technological developments that improved water quality did not come about because people stopped trying to advance.  Progress is like a great herd moving across the plain – without it we get nowhere – but one should not be surprised at all the shit.

So what is your Earth Day assignment?  I want each and every one of you, to try to introduce the outdoors to someone who has not yet enjoyed it.  Take a kid fishing, take your city-slicker parents for a walk, or be a real hero and mentor a kid that wasn’t lucky enough to have someone to introduce him or her to the passion we all love.  The more people who appreciate and enjoy the great outdoors, the more likely it is to remain great and prosper, and if we are very, very lucky, improve.

Happy Earth Day….

Commies…