Senior Class Superlatives – as if the high school years weren’t hard enough on an adolescent’s sense of security.  I posted this dusty pic of the Flyosopher wearing his patented (D447,556) ”Douche-Face” not to brag, but to pose a question.

Who truly was the “Most Likely to Succeed?”  The picture shows two students, which is grammatically impossible only one could be the MOST likely to do anything, the other slightly less so.  That is the point of superlatives to qualify or quantify things in relation to similar things.  For those of you who have become obsessive fans of the Flyosopher the answer to the question is simple: Stephanie.  She possessed an intellect and drive that I have rarely seen equalled and never bested;  she is also down-playing her natural smile in the photo.  I’m a smart guy, but, after figuring out how to earn enough to allow me to fish as much as I wanted, I kind of lost all other ambitions, thank God.

Words have meanings.  Webster – the dictionary guy not the Gary Coleman rip-off – defined most of them.  What is more important, however, is what the words you use say about you.  Consider this exchange I had recently with Caroline – a beautiful bartender working terribly hard to turn a loveable loner into a loveable slightly less of a loner.

“Just wait till you meet my friend Matt, he’s the greatest guy, I love him.”  Caroline’s voice was sparkly with charisma – it may have just been her eyes.

“Who was that last person, we were just talking with?”  The Flyosopher struggled to hold up his end of the conversation, a loud crowded room filled with merriment, warmth and cheer was a far cry from the cold wind-swept flats and beaches he normally found himself in the single digit hours of a new day.

Caroline’s mental Rolodex effortlessly recalled the couple. Names, faces, birthdays, pets, favorite drinks and dishes remembered instantly and perfectly.  “Christine and Frank you mean?”

“Ya, wasn’t he the greatest guy ever.”  He could recall little more than what Caroline had said, when she spoke he focused on nothing else. 

“He is.” 

“Well they can’t both be.  One is the greatest and one is slightly less great.”

“Yes they can.  Oh wait, are you afraid that I don’t think you are the greatest guy?”

“No and yes…wait…I am the greatest guy?”

Frank was still in ear-shot and challenged, “No I am.”

Christine, his long-suffering girlfriend, challenged his challenge, “Not when you’ve been drinking tequila.  Then you are an asshole.”

The Flyosopher should have let it go. “All I’m saying is that whenever you “-est” something it means one. ”

Caroline wasn’t swayed.  “You don’t need to be so competitive.”

“Ya you prick.”  Frank, apparently, had been drinking tequila.

“We always manage to have some very unique conversations.”  The Flyosopher blanched.  “I just said ‘very unique.’”

The assembled shrugged.

“Nothing can be very unique…unique is one of a kind there is no “very” one of a kind or uniquest or degree.”

Caroline then shut me off.  I had been drinking Diet Pepsi.  Also, I’m no longer in the running for “Greatest Guy,” but I have a sizable lead for “Most Annoying” and “Most Likely to Get Maced.”

“Some so speak in exaggerations and superlatives that we need to make a large discount from their statements before we can come at their real meaning.”

Tyron Edwards 

Tyron Edwards lived and wrote in the 1840’s.  So what?  Well think about it, back in his day words meant an awful lot more than they do today.  Consider the Bill of Rights, how often has someone said something (offensive, insulting, or simply moronic) and then qualified it with “Freedom of Speech.”  When the 1st Amendment was quilled, dueling was an accepted part of society.  So you had the right to say what you wanted, but you were expected to defend what you said with your honor or life as the situation warranted.  Back then calling someone a “coward” meant one of you had to go.  Today you can call someone every C-word in the lexicon and the worst thing that will happen is you go on to great wealth and fame as a Hard-core rapper.  Ironically you may end up getting shot, which will cement your image.

I often laugh (actually I never laugh I giggle it’s kind of my thing) when people speak (generally against) the 2nd amendment, citing what gun ownership meant back in the 1700’s.  Yet, you never hear someone bring up about the cultural context of the 1st.  Personally, I think dueling would improve society to no end.  Think about it, smashing Perez Hilton’s skull in with a sledgehammer alone would be an improvement.  If nothing else people would be more polite.   

Now that everyone knows that I dream of going on a sledgehammer rampage, might as well finish the article.  I did have a point you know, not a particularly good one – they can’t all be gems. 

Fly fishing literature is littered with exaggeration.  At best this is for harmless dramatic emphasis, at worst it is a lie.  I feel that – like most things – it is a part of the culture.  My only real complaint is that we who are in the sport kind of know when a guy is over-inflating himself, the challenge, the location what have you.  I’m not sure that guys and gals getting into the sport have quite the same understanding.  Many people who would like to try fly fishing are somewhat intimidated by the way we describe the sport.  So let me say something that would likely spark a duel had I said it to Theodore Gordon.

Fly fishing isn’t hard.

Ya Ya needs more drama

“Fly Fishing isn’t hard. But I am.”     

The Flyosopher

Nothing like a little TMI to hammer home a point.  Working at a job you hate to pay the bills is hard.  Raising a kid to the point where she is old enough and competent enough to not need you is hard.  Staying in a relationship when the going gets tough and you remember fondly the nights where you’re greatest concern was finding the Tri-force is hard.  Fly fishing isn’t.  It is fun.

The ugliest piece of crap fly, sloppily cast a far distance from the nearest fish will work out fine a good part of the time.  It’s not the most challenging human endeavor. 

I think our sport could use a little less self-promotion.  Especially if you consider that the “professors” in our college are the guys who give demonstrations, produce videos, or even teach classes.  Self-promotion distances the learned from the learner, and where an experienced angler may take something with a grain of salt or better still be able to fully appreciate the demonstrated level of skill, a rank beginner may merely feel intimidated.  I feel a greater sense of welcoming even if it means slightly less superlatives would be a welcome change, and a great benefit to our sport.

That would be the very bestest thing ever in fly fishing history.

 Ok Flyosophy Fans…next update will be slightly different.  I’m just going to write a short story.  Ever since I was a little kid I always wanted to be a writer and since I have a captive audience I’m going to use it.  I have no idea what it takes to be a writer in terms of skill or knowledge of the business but I figure that writing is probably a good first step.  So we’ll see….